The Beef Baron

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Chapter 1 I was sitting at my throne, eating macaroni and cheese. I was watching the Spanish channel. It was some sort of reality TV show. Everyone was acting very animated. I think there was some sort of romance that had gone bad. Spanish people are so funny! “Hablabamos!” I shouted. My butler entered the room. “Sir… will you be having any ice cream this evening?” I closed my eyes… I smiled. “Butler… butler…” I sighed. “Yes, he will. I will have a sundae with a chocolate chip cookie on top, please.” “Indeed, sir,” he said, and he walked out. […]

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The point of life

All you can do is the best you can with the information that has been presented to you. Do you have control over what you believe? My guess is no, because it seems to me like the brain will always do the best it can. There are no situations where the brain could have done better. To say that you could have willed yourself to try harder or do better is basically saying that you could have changed the actions of subatomic particles which make up the brain, right? But of course, these particles operate according to simple rules, so […]

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Why SJWs exist

Social justice warriors exist because calling someone a bigot is a very powerful accusation. It is the internet-argument version of a rape accusation. Just the accusation itself is damaging, no matter what the context is or the facts are. SJWs use these arguments because they want to feel powerful. They can stir up a lot of shit and get a lot of attention and moral high ground by claiming to be offended by everything because of supposed bigotry. News organizations are afraid to be anything other than 100% squeaky clean and approved by every SJW out there, because their profession […]

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I wish “theRadBrad” would just kill himself

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Let’s say you want to see what a certain video game looks like. You look it up on YouTube and the first result is always something uploaded by the YouTube user “theRadBrad”. If you end up watching this video, it involves a grown man constantly explicitly stating how excited he is and how awesome the game is. It goes without saying that pretty much every “Let’s Play”-er needs to kill themselves, but “theRadBrad” is truly in a league of his own. Whenever he starts playing a game and says “this game is so awesome, I’m so excited to bring you […]

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Mrs. Freshley’s

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Mrs. Freshley’s is a company that produces various combinations of flour, palm oil, and high fructose corn syrup. They can make doughnuts, brownies, nutri-grain bars, oatmeal cream pies, and all of that sorts of shit out of these 3 ingredients. On the back of every Mrs. Freshley’s product, it says Moist, wholesome and delicious, one of them is sure to be your special favorite! Mrs. Freshley’s products are the finest high-quality snack foods available to you and your family. They have to be – Mrs. Freshley wouldn’t have it any other way! First things first, “Mrs. Freshley” is not a […]

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GamerGate

To try to make this as simple as possible: GamerGate refers to an event that has been happening for a few weeks regarding Zoe Quinn and corruption in video game journalism. This all started when a guy made a long blog post about how his ex-girlfriend lied to him a lot and had slept with multiple other people. His ex-girlfriend was Zoe Quinn, who had developed a video game called Depression Quest, and some of the people she slept with were video game journalists who had written or eventually wrote positive articles about Depression Quest, or were involved in the […]

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The Fappening

The Fappening makes me like Reddit again because it is full of the type of stubborn autistic people who, if you delete their accounts, they come right back and talk about how their account was deleted. They don’t get bored and they don’t quit. And that is extremely useful in this case. Because this is a thing that is happening: random “white knight” mods on Reddit.com are deleting people’s accounts just for posting in /r/TheFappening and /r/TheSecondCumming boards. Here’s the deal: it’s not a big deal if your tits get posted on the internet. It sucks for you, but it […]

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The Purple Pixie dimension

Pockie Pixie was a member of the Faggot Crew, a group of Pixie Ponies who pranced about in the CANDY-SPACE robotic transcendental dimension/planet. Pocket Pixie started an argument by telling Purple Pockie that he was a massive Faggot. Purpy got mad and told Pockie to suck his own dick. Then Burpy Blocky (the boss) came over and said they were both faggots. Pockie and Pixie got mad. “God damnit,” said Pixie. “Fuck you.” “Eat my cunt,” said Burpy Block. He then said, “Blocky penetrator, activate.” Then a big blocky dick extended out from his chest. “I’m going to fuck you,” […]

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ROBOT SCHOOL 001

“But I don’t wanna go to school today! Wah! WAAAHHH!” “IF YOU DO NOT GET UP FOR SCHOOL, YOU WILL BE REQUIRED TO ENTER THE TORTURE CHAMBER.” “Fuck you! Shut the fuck up!” “IF YOU DO NOT COMPLY, YOU WILL BE FORCED TO ENTER THE TORTURE CHAMBER.” “God fucking damnit!” I got out of bed and slipped my shoes into my sandals which were sitting at the side of my bed. Then I kicked the cylindrical robot that was in the doorway. “Get out of my way you fat fuck!” I screamed. Kicking this robot sounded like kicking a metal […]

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